Religion 101

About a month ago, my son asked me what was the name of "that place" that we went to on (some) weekends. After much prodding, I realized that he was talking about the church where we hear mass (or at least try to since our attendance has been rather inconsistent of late). I told him that it was the "church" and proceeded on giving him the name of our parish. When asked why the subject came up so suddenly, he simply replied, "I like going there."

Somehow his reply struck a chord within me. My hubby and I have been so busy with work, errands and shuttling the kids to and from their activities that sometimes it seems like a big pain to attend mass on Sundays. Yet, here's my four-year old boy stating that he likes going to mass and looks forward to going to church. When further asked why he likes going to church, he just says that he just likes to go there. Before you picture some angelic little boy sitting quietly through mass, please allow me to banish such a beautiful thought from your head. My hubby and I spend a chunk of time during mass alternately shushing AJ and keeping AT occupied so as not to wander around the church as she is wont to do. Yet, even in this, AJ still likes the church.

So taking this to heart, we make more of an effort to go and hear mass every Sunday (or else we catch the vigil on Saturdays). In doing so, I feel that I am renewing my own faith. I have added a new dimension to it. I am beginning to see and hear the mass through my children's senses.

Now, I don't want to gush on and on about my personal faith. I'm just trying to say that I'm now feeling the weight and responsibility of introducing God and religion to my children. How can I best let them know about my faith when I myself am a very far example of an exemplary Christian? Maybe this is another one of those situations where I have to shape up for my children. Unlike my and my hubby's childhood in Catholic schools (where we were, at worst, brainwashed into the Faith), my children will most likely enter the public school system. A system that, in its quest for secularization, seems to shun away everything that touches any semblance of religion. It is a mighty challenge, and one that I'm not yet prepared to take. Maybe those Sunday masses will help center me and strenghthen my core as I take on another parental task of letting my children get to know God.

God help me.

What's In a Name?

I was at a small birthday bash this past Saturday when the conversation around the dinner table (where we famished moms are usually stationed) revolved around names. Rather, how there seems to be some confusion about middle names.

Where I come from, it was taken for granted that one's middle name was simply the maiden name of one's mother. For the child, it was a formal proof of one's parentage. It is also common for parents to assign two, even three (remember those "Maria"s?) first names to their child. Thus, most application forms would usually ask for the following information: Last Name, First Name, Second Name, Middle Name (or Initial).

However, this practice is totally unheard of here in the US. If a child were given two names, the first name written on the birth certificate would be "First Name" (hello, no brainer there!), and the second name would stand for "Middle Name". Hence for young transplants like us, this poses a bit of a conundrum. Should we name our children the American way? Or should we still keep our tradition?

So in between mouthfuls of spaghetti and and grilled pork (inihaw na baboy), my girlfriends and I mulled over this. My friend, ED, said that she adapted the American way and just did without her own maiden name for her children. I'm not quite sure what the other moms said, but I mentioned that stuck to the old ways for AJ and AT. ED was aghast! She said that my poor kids would have very long names to fill in on all their forms. I half-jokingly replied that I have an even longer name than either of my kids, and that if I was able to do this since I learned how to write then so would they. Besides, it's not as if my maiden name can only be written in Chinese characters or Sanskrit!

That night though, the same conversation was floating in my head. Would it have been easier on my kids if I just dropped my maiden name from their names? Would it make is easier for them to blend in with their peers if they didn't have to explain why they have two first names plus a middle name to boot?

The more I thought about this however, the more I reflected on what was "it" with my maiden name. I thought about how I've been known with that name for nearly twenty-five years. I began solid friendships and a promising career with that name. That name earned quite a few notable achievements on its own. That name also earned the trust of so many people from back home. My maiden name was a big part of who I was, of who I am, before I married my DH. It may not be blatantly obvious in this country, but I have invested myself in a lot of endeavours using THAT name! There's no way in hell should I even consider dropping it from my children's names!

I guess that they'll just have to live with the inconvenience of squeezing in all their given names in whatever forms that they'll be asked to fill out. They have to start practicing their responses to queries as why they have such long names. My maiden name, their middle name, is part of their legacy! In a way, it's another bond that links them, not only to me personally, but to my family and my family's history.

It's debatable, but maybe my DH and I did the right thing after all. Living as immigrants here in the US, with children who might see themselves more American than we'd like them to, we wish to furnish our kids with as much links to their cultural heritage as we possibly can. And maybe, just maybe, giving them really long names can be part of that.

The Little Fish That Still Can't Swim

I'm close to tossing my son, AJ, in the pool and just watch him paddle his way back to the edge of the pool, or worse, sink to the bottom (in which case, I'll leap in after him, of course!). Six classes, five private lessons and $140 have come and gone, and AJ is no close to swimming than I am to cross-country skiing.

Oh, he's got his basics down pat. He can blow bubbles with his face in the water. He can kick his legs out behind him. Sometimes, he can even extend his arms and make little scoopers with his hands that seem to be beginnings of little swim strokes. Getting them all to work together is another story. Somehow, once either my or his instructor's hand lets go, AJ forgets what he's doing and just freezes. His body goes ramrod straight and he inevitably starts to sink.

I'm reminded by an Introduction to Philosophy class that I had in college. My professor was telling us that he can only give us so much tools and materials to begin a path towards reflection and philosophy, but in the end, it's up to us actually go down that path. Here he gives us an example of teaching somebody how to swim. A person can take as much instruction in swimming as he can, but until he jumps into the water, he can never swim. A phrase that sticks to my head is Fr. Ferriols, S.J.'s line: "Lundagin mo baby!" ("Leap in [to the water], baby!")

So back to my son, should I take that example literally and throw him in? I doubt that he's going to willingly leap in the water. But then again, I don't want to be thrown in jail for child endangerment. Hahaha! So, what do I do? I signed him up for two more private lessons, but after that I'm pulling the plug... until I see some improvement.

I must say that I'm surprised that it's taken AJ this long to learn how to swim. This boy looovvvees being in the water, be it in the pool or in the tub. Heck, he never even misses the chance to jump in the puddle when he sees one! So what is this deal with not yet swimming?! Anyway, it's already August and summer will be over before we know it. I'm hoping that all that time and money have not gone to waste, and he'll finally realize how his newfound skills click together and go swimming on his own. In the meantime, allow me to put on my proud mommy face for everytime he shows off how hard he can kick and how long he can blow bubbles in the water.