What's In a Name?
I was at a small birthday bash this past Saturday when the conversation around the dinner table (where we famished moms are usually stationed) revolved around names. Rather, how there seems to be some confusion about middle names.
Where I come from, it was taken for granted that one's middle name was simply the maiden name of one's mother. For the child, it was a formal proof of one's parentage. It is also common for parents to assign two, even three (remember those "Maria"s?) first names to their child. Thus, most application forms would usually ask for the following information: Last Name, First Name, Second Name, Middle Name (or Initial).
However, this practice is totally unheard of here in the US. If a child were given two names, the first name written on the birth certificate would be "First Name" (hello, no brainer there!), and the second name would stand for "Middle Name". Hence for young transplants like us, this poses a bit of a conundrum. Should we name our children the American way? Or should we still keep our tradition?
So in between mouthfuls of spaghetti and and grilled pork (inihaw na baboy), my girlfriends and I mulled over this. My friend, ED, said that she adapted the American way and just did without her own maiden name for her children. I'm not quite sure what the other moms said, but I mentioned that stuck to the old ways for AJ and AT. ED was aghast! She said that my poor kids would have very long names to fill in on all their forms. I half-jokingly replied that I have an even longer name than either of my kids, and that if I was able to do this since I learned how to write then so would they. Besides, it's not as if my maiden name can only be written in Chinese characters or Sanskrit!
That night though, the same conversation was floating in my head. Would it have been easier on my kids if I just dropped my maiden name from their names? Would it make is easier for them to blend in with their peers if they didn't have to explain why they have two first names plus a middle name to boot?
The more I thought about this however, the more I reflected on what was "it" with my maiden name. I thought about how I've been known with that name for nearly twenty-five years. I began solid friendships and a promising career with that name. That name earned quite a few notable achievements on its own. That name also earned the trust of so many people from back home. My maiden name was a big part of who I was, of who I am, before I married my DH. It may not be blatantly obvious in this country, but I have invested myself in a lot of endeavours using THAT name! There's no way in hell should I even consider dropping it from my children's names!
I guess that they'll just have to live with the inconvenience of squeezing in all their given names in whatever forms that they'll be asked to fill out. They have to start practicing their responses to queries as why they have such long names. My maiden name, their middle name, is part of their legacy! In a way, it's another bond that links them, not only to me personally, but to my family and my family's history.
It's debatable, but maybe my DH and I did the right thing after all. Living as immigrants here in the US, with children who might see themselves more American than we'd like them to, we wish to furnish our kids with as much links to their cultural heritage as we possibly can. And maybe, just maybe, giving them really long names can be part of that.
Where I come from, it was taken for granted that one's middle name was simply the maiden name of one's mother. For the child, it was a formal proof of one's parentage. It is also common for parents to assign two, even three (remember those "Maria"s?) first names to their child. Thus, most application forms would usually ask for the following information: Last Name, First Name, Second Name, Middle Name (or Initial).
However, this practice is totally unheard of here in the US. If a child were given two names, the first name written on the birth certificate would be "First Name" (hello, no brainer there!), and the second name would stand for "Middle Name". Hence for young transplants like us, this poses a bit of a conundrum. Should we name our children the American way? Or should we still keep our tradition?
So in between mouthfuls of spaghetti and and grilled pork (inihaw na baboy), my girlfriends and I mulled over this. My friend, ED, said that she adapted the American way and just did without her own maiden name for her children. I'm not quite sure what the other moms said, but I mentioned that stuck to the old ways for AJ and AT. ED was aghast! She said that my poor kids would have very long names to fill in on all their forms. I half-jokingly replied that I have an even longer name than either of my kids, and that if I was able to do this since I learned how to write then so would they. Besides, it's not as if my maiden name can only be written in Chinese characters or Sanskrit!
That night though, the same conversation was floating in my head. Would it have been easier on my kids if I just dropped my maiden name from their names? Would it make is easier for them to blend in with their peers if they didn't have to explain why they have two first names plus a middle name to boot?
The more I thought about this however, the more I reflected on what was "it" with my maiden name. I thought about how I've been known with that name for nearly twenty-five years. I began solid friendships and a promising career with that name. That name earned quite a few notable achievements on its own. That name also earned the trust of so many people from back home. My maiden name was a big part of who I was, of who I am, before I married my DH. It may not be blatantly obvious in this country, but I have invested myself in a lot of endeavours using THAT name! There's no way in hell should I even consider dropping it from my children's names!
I guess that they'll just have to live with the inconvenience of squeezing in all their given names in whatever forms that they'll be asked to fill out. They have to start practicing their responses to queries as why they have such long names. My maiden name, their middle name, is part of their legacy! In a way, it's another bond that links them, not only to me personally, but to my family and my family's history.
It's debatable, but maybe my DH and I did the right thing after all. Living as immigrants here in the US, with children who might see themselves more American than we'd like them to, we wish to furnish our kids with as much links to their cultural heritage as we possibly can. And maybe, just maybe, giving them really long names can be part of that.
posted by gal in progress | 10:27 PM
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