A Simple Life
My parents' story is a rags-to-riches one. Having married young and both coming from dirt-poor families, they grittily strove to overcome their dire circumstance through a combination of living a very frugal lifestyle, industriousness and good fortune.
However, it was a different scenario for me then as I had to grow up within that said frugal lifestyle. My younger brother and I lived on clothes that were either hand-me-downs from family friends or were purchased from street vendors. My mother would buy us new school shoes at the begininng of the school year that were a size larger to make space for our growing feet. In the meantime, to keep from dragging our oversize shoes, we learned to fold our socks over our toes to have a snugger fit. When children our age were happily playing with their barbies and lego sets, my brother and I would play with the other street urchins... sometimes even playing tag on a very busy street!
This probably carried on until I was in junior college. Stingy as my mom was, she never scrimped when it came to my education. She sent me and my brother to the best schools our own brains would allow us into. Needless to say, I became one of those poor girls in a rich school. In hindsight, I guess I can say that this was where I became a freak in progress! Haha! Well, when the unspoken objective among my peers then was to belong... to fit in... I was a square peg to a round hole. I could hold my ground on an academic level, but in the social playing field I was a fish out of water.
Back when wearing any "Esprit" branded clothing was the epitome of coolness, my very dedicated mother got me an "Espirit" one from the local vendor! When Tretorn sneakers were the only brand a girl could decently wear (paired with socks from St. Michael's if I may add), I wore my knock-off Tretorns --- except that the "boomerang" on mine were upsidedown. Totally hilarious I tell you!
In the end, I just resigned myself that I won't be able to keep up. Too many brands and must-haves, and too many fights with my mom on how unappreciative I am of the stuff that she buys me. By the time I entered college, I just decided to do my own thing (full-fledged freak?!). I got jeans that fit and shoes that felt comfortable. I owned shirts in solid colors so that I won't have to worry if the patterns clash or whatever other fashion rules there were. Even when my parents' financial situation improved and they could finally give me an occasional brand-name piece of clothing, I simply took the labels off just so it wouldn't be out-of-style simply because the brand has become outdated.
Then I got my first job after college and started earning my own money. Suddenly it was as if the floodgates opened for me. With my salary to spend at my own personal discretion it was like being a kid in a candy store. A kid with her mom's wallet! I bought the clothes that I wanted and ate in restaurants that I've been previously ignorant of.
Fast-forward to 2006. While still not a label-whore (reason: still can't afford it), I must say that I've elevated my differentiation of wants vs. needs about twenty notches. Whereas I probably would've been happy to have a pillow to lay my head on back when I was starting out living on my own, I'm now looking at heft and support for my pillows. Likewise with sheets (at least 300 cotton ---preferably Egyptian --- percale) and most other things for my home.
What's scary though is that I'm finding myself longingly looking through the items at eluxury.com and neiman marcus. When I say longingly, I mean that if we weren't drowning in debt, I'd probably buy myself an item or two on a regular basis! What's worse is that the allure of these designer items is such that other "reasonably" branded items begin to seem so lacking. I remember seeing this really cute Benetton bag. Unfortunately, it resembled a Louis Vuitton alma handbag; hence, I began to see it as an LV wannabe when, in fact, it really was cute on its own.
So while I still can't afford to live like Paris Hilton, it's time to slap myself silly and drag my thoughts back to earth. Hello? Why am I mentally calculating what I have to scrimp on just to afford that $700 handbag splurge? Sock. It. To. My. Kids'. College. Fund. Stupid!
Thus, my new mantra will be to go back to living simply (going for the Paris Hilton theme here). I have no choice. In my family's life cycle, we're still very much in the "rags" stage and could only hope that we can be as blessed and rewarded as my parents. Besides, I'll just make myself extra miserable longing for things that I cannot have. Not to mention that fact that I've long pledged not to buy knockoffs. It has to be authentic or nothing.
On the flip side, the decision to live a simpler lifestyle has made room for more fulfilling things for me and my family. While we still cannot afford a Disneyworld vacation, my children are just as ecsatatic to take a dip at the local YMCA's pool on these hot summer days. My son is learning how to "prioritize" the toys in his wish list, knowing that he'll only get one each for his birthday and Christmas. I make more effort to cook dishes that are both delicious and nutritious since our dining-out budget is very limited. In short, I'm slowly trying to seek a balance and to put some sanity to my wants vs. needs scale. I'm not yet totally there, but I can see progress in myself! Heck, I think that I just might make even my mother proud!
However, it was a different scenario for me then as I had to grow up within that said frugal lifestyle. My younger brother and I lived on clothes that were either hand-me-downs from family friends or were purchased from street vendors. My mother would buy us new school shoes at the begininng of the school year that were a size larger to make space for our growing feet. In the meantime, to keep from dragging our oversize shoes, we learned to fold our socks over our toes to have a snugger fit. When children our age were happily playing with their barbies and lego sets, my brother and I would play with the other street urchins... sometimes even playing tag on a very busy street!
This probably carried on until I was in junior college. Stingy as my mom was, she never scrimped when it came to my education. She sent me and my brother to the best schools our own brains would allow us into. Needless to say, I became one of those poor girls in a rich school. In hindsight, I guess I can say that this was where I became a freak in progress! Haha! Well, when the unspoken objective among my peers then was to belong... to fit in... I was a square peg to a round hole. I could hold my ground on an academic level, but in the social playing field I was a fish out of water.
Back when wearing any "Esprit" branded clothing was the epitome of coolness, my very dedicated mother got me an "Espirit" one from the local vendor! When Tretorn sneakers were the only brand a girl could decently wear (paired with socks from St. Michael's if I may add), I wore my knock-off Tretorns --- except that the "boomerang" on mine were upsidedown. Totally hilarious I tell you!
In the end, I just resigned myself that I won't be able to keep up. Too many brands and must-haves, and too many fights with my mom on how unappreciative I am of the stuff that she buys me. By the time I entered college, I just decided to do my own thing (full-fledged freak?!). I got jeans that fit and shoes that felt comfortable. I owned shirts in solid colors so that I won't have to worry if the patterns clash or whatever other fashion rules there were. Even when my parents' financial situation improved and they could finally give me an occasional brand-name piece of clothing, I simply took the labels off just so it wouldn't be out-of-style simply because the brand has become outdated.
Then I got my first job after college and started earning my own money. Suddenly it was as if the floodgates opened for me. With my salary to spend at my own personal discretion it was like being a kid in a candy store. A kid with her mom's wallet! I bought the clothes that I wanted and ate in restaurants that I've been previously ignorant of.
Fast-forward to 2006. While still not a label-whore (reason: still can't afford it), I must say that I've elevated my differentiation of wants vs. needs about twenty notches. Whereas I probably would've been happy to have a pillow to lay my head on back when I was starting out living on my own, I'm now looking at heft and support for my pillows. Likewise with sheets (at least 300 cotton ---preferably Egyptian --- percale) and most other things for my home.
What's scary though is that I'm finding myself longingly looking through the items at eluxury.com and neiman marcus. When I say longingly, I mean that if we weren't drowning in debt, I'd probably buy myself an item or two on a regular basis! What's worse is that the allure of these designer items is such that other "reasonably" branded items begin to seem so lacking. I remember seeing this really cute Benetton bag. Unfortunately, it resembled a Louis Vuitton alma handbag; hence, I began to see it as an LV wannabe when, in fact, it really was cute on its own.
So while I still can't afford to live like Paris Hilton, it's time to slap myself silly and drag my thoughts back to earth. Hello? Why am I mentally calculating what I have to scrimp on just to afford that $700 handbag splurge? Sock. It. To. My. Kids'. College. Fund. Stupid!
Thus, my new mantra will be to go back to living simply (going for the Paris Hilton theme here). I have no choice. In my family's life cycle, we're still very much in the "rags" stage and could only hope that we can be as blessed and rewarded as my parents. Besides, I'll just make myself extra miserable longing for things that I cannot have. Not to mention that fact that I've long pledged not to buy knockoffs. It has to be authentic or nothing.
On the flip side, the decision to live a simpler lifestyle has made room for more fulfilling things for me and my family. While we still cannot afford a Disneyworld vacation, my children are just as ecsatatic to take a dip at the local YMCA's pool on these hot summer days. My son is learning how to "prioritize" the toys in his wish list, knowing that he'll only get one each for his birthday and Christmas. I make more effort to cook dishes that are both delicious and nutritious since our dining-out budget is very limited. In short, I'm slowly trying to seek a balance and to put some sanity to my wants vs. needs scale. I'm not yet totally there, but I can see progress in myself! Heck, I think that I just might make even my mother proud!
posted by gal in progress | 9:55 PM
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