The Agony of Waiting

Family members and friends who are close to me know that I am in a quiet state of agony. I have that deep-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach writhing agony of waiting. I am waiting for the light to turn green again (pardon the unintended pun) on my husband's green card application. We have moved to the US nearly seven years ago on a work visa that my DH still uses. However, his has reached a point where it has to be renewed every year (and my dependent visa with it) pending the application of his green card. And it has been three years since that process was initiated. In a green card application based on an employer petition, there usually are three stages that must be passed. I am frustrated to say that my husband's petition isn't even over the first hurdle yet. Every day that passes by adds another gray hair to my head!

I'm sure that this situation likewise frustrates my hubby to no end. On the other hand, as one who has given up a career to stay-at-home-and-play-house, it is I who gets more anxious. My take is, if the proverbial turd hits the fan, my DH will more likely have an easier time getting a job back home. In the meantime, what have I to show in the past seven years that I've been out of circulation? I doubt if the HR interviewer would find my children as interesting as I do. Nor would a future employer be as impressed at my cooking and housekeeping skills. So this petition has to go through, and hopefully it can move along a little more swiftly.

Sometimes I get anxious enough to include the labor certification approval (first step of three) in my son's bedtime prayers. Next to "Please give me a good dream and keep away bad ones," my son endearingly prays "Please let my daddy's papers be approved soon." If prayers could only be answered on the level of cuteness, God couldn't have turned AJ down! In fact there was this incident two weeks ago when I asked AJ to replace the flowers on the altar (yes, my roses did bloom!). Wondering what was taking him too long to come down with the old flowers I went up to the second floor landing where our family altar was stationed. Then there was my son, murmuring what sounded like gibberish which he promptly ceased with an embarrassed smile when he saw me. Later that day, as I was preparing him a snack he asked me this, "Mommy, did Daddy's papers get approved already?" I told him that I didn't know, but probably not. Then AJ continues, "I prayed to Papa Jesus to have Daddy's papers be approved kanina (translation: a moment ago). And your papers too, Mommy, even when you didn't ask me to pray for it." You could've guessed how much I smothered AJ with kisses right then and there.

Anyway, I wish I could say that afterwards I got a call from the lawyer telling us exactly that. Alas, that miracle didn't occur, but we're still hoping and praying. But for now, I'm carrying on with life as usual. There are days when the status of the application doesn't even cross my mind. But there are times, like tonight, when it's crowding out all other thoughts. And I'm hoping that, between my son's prayers and mine, Papa Jesus will finally say yes.